Hopeless
by Sihnya
Summary: She wanted to bring Sasuke back, because she loved him. It was a one-sided love however. Would Sakura spend her life grieving for what could not be or move on ? Eventual yuri, Sakura/Hinata


Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

I apologize for any mistakes, English is not my first language...

**Hopeless: Chapiter 1**

_How many times have I wished Sasuke would acknowledge me ?_

_This competition with all other Sasuke fangirls... He was like a prize to be won over, and we were all fighting against each other to get him. Of course, Ino was my fiercest opponent: we were both so intent to be "the one" for Sasuke. _

_Sasuke. He was the only boy in our Academy class really worth looking at. The others all ranged from ok to not attractive at all. Poor Lee… but we fangirls are like that, we close in to the best target in the area. And aside from his looks, Sasuke had something more about him. Something the other male students did not have. He had a special aura of power and anger and coldness. Yeah, it should have been a bad sign, because it's not so fun to be around angry people but in his case, it just added to his charm. Plus, he looked unreachable, so courting him was sort of a challenge._

_How many times have I wished Sasuke would fall in love with me ?_

_Truly, the composition of our genin teams appeared to me as an omen. To be on the same squad as my loved one… that's definitely every girl's wish. Well, every kunoichi's wish. Civilians have it so much easier than us. _

_Team 7 seemed to be the perfect occasion to get closer to Sasuke. And I did get to know him better in the end. However, it hardly worked the way I had planned (or dreamed) it to. He was attractive and quiet from a distance; he was still attractive and quiet up close in our team. He should have opened up to me a little, that's what happens when you work constantly with somebody. He remained an emotional oyster though, locked away in his shell of angst. _

_I found myself envying Naruto for the bond he shared with Sasuke. Their relationship had started as a contest, a rivalry. Fighting alongside, they became almost friends. As for me… I was always useless dead weight on this team, having not much battle skills, not much a tactical mind, not much anything. Compared to those two, who worked hard to surpass each other, I was a pretty poor ninja. _

_How many times have I wished Sasuke would come back to the village ?_

_My final declaration of love did not work anymore than the previous ones on Sasuke. _

"_Thanks for everything."_

_Awakening on a park bench next morning after being knocked out was a horrible experience. He was long gone, leaving me behind with my ridiculous, one-sided love for him. _

_They went after him, to no avail… Choji and Neji nearly died fighting Orochimaru's henchmen to take Sasuke back. It was all for nothing, he disappeared from our view, on his way to the Sound._

_All those weeks and months after, I kept hoping he'd realize how he'd made an awful choice and come back to Konoha. He would have told us, his teammates, how crazy it had been to seek that snake sannin to obtain forbidden knowledge. How he had turned back when he saw Orochimaru's deathly white face… _

_It's been almost three years, and not a word from Sasuke, nor Naruto for that matter. Nothing else than the peaceful tranquillity of Konohagakure. So I'm training and waiting for my friends to return._

Naruto had finally returned from his travels with the perverted sannin. She was surprised at first, was this really her teammate from long gone Team 7 ? He looked tall and old, nothing like the annoying genin who kept asking her for dates ages ago.

And yet, it was him.

He had matured for sure.

The village girls gazes would now linger a bit on his figure, she observed in the street. That had not happened before. She herself felt more drawn to his whiskered face than before. He was her friend, she reminded herself. Even though Naruto would have liked to be more than just that to her, she could not let help but see him as an endearing, if sometimes annoying, little brother.

He finally noticed her.

-Sakura-chan!

-Naruto ?

He was taller than her now!

-It's been a long time Sakura-chan!

The pretense of seriousness quickly dropped. He grinned to his ears.

« How're you doing ? » Naruto asked.

-Oh I've been training under Tsunade-shishou, to be a medic-nin.

-« Really ? That's awesome! » His smiled faltered a bit. « So… any news about Sasuke? »

She shook her head sadly.

-Didn't think so.

He looked around. « This place hasn't changed a bit! »

She smiled at that. « Same old Konoha, right. » Sakura saw a familiar white head in the crowd. « And he problably hasn't changed either. » she murmured under her breath.

The white-haired man approached them. Jiyaiya greeted her warmly, appraising her silhouette. She frowned at bit.

-I'm going to report to Tsunade. You're free to do what you want for the rest of the day. See Kakashi tomorrow for orders.

-« Hai! Oi Sakura », he said turning to her shyly. « Would you like to go to Ichiraku's ? »

-« Naruto… » she said threateningly.

-« Ok ok nevermind! » Naruto answered hurriedly. « See ya Sakura-chan! »

-« Bye Naruto. » she answered to his back.

Her life was a notch closer to normal than it was yesterday. Naruto was back in Konoha, and he was still pretty much the same.

Only one person was missing.

Naruto's mention of Sasuke had somewhat darkened her good mood. Sasuke's absence was now the only thing separating her from happiness. The only thing… but it weighed heavily in her heart.

She had seen from Naruto's expression when he brought up their teammate that he had not yet gave up his promise to her. He would bring Sasuke back to her.

Naruto may have been lonely and rejected during his childhood, but he certainly was not anymore. There had been something amiss in the village without him.

So, Ino decided to throw a party to celebrate Naruto's return. Of course, Ino usually did not need any real reason to organize such events. She used any suitable occasion. Really any situation. This accounted for a valid reason this time, Sakura reflected.

She was sitting at home, pondering what she should wear to go to the party tonight. Her mother was working in the kitchen.

Sakura threw the dress she was examing back on her bed.

After all this time trying to suppress all expression of her womanliness, it was weird to even look at girlish stuff. Long hair was a nuisance, so she wore it short. Stylish clothes were meant more for civilian women than for kunoichi, so she had few of those.

_I feel like I am looking at clothes made for another species._ _No way._

_This is Naruto's party of all people. He won't mind if I dress just like usual. _

She finally chose a set of her everyday clothes.

Sakura went to the other side of her room to reach her mirror.

_Yuck._

She looked back to the abandoned pile of clothes. She would still feel weird wearing these.

**Are you trying to score on somebody ? There won't be any interesting boys, you know. **_**He **_**won't be there. He chose Orochimaru over you, remember ?**

_Shut up Inner._

**Anyway, you only get the uninteresting ones. Naruto and Lee, really…**

She sighed.

**We weren't strong enough to make him stay. And we still aren't.**

She cringed at Inner's comment. Inner Sakura usually struck pretty close to home. This was no exception.

_I should stop being so pessimistic. I'm going to have fun tonight._

She considered changing clothes yet another time. No. This was okay.

_I'm going to have fun. I'm NOT depressed. _

The young women stared at her reflection, and it stared back.

Please tell me what you think !


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